jaunthie | Unexpected compliments

A meme went around the other day, one that got me thinking. It was one of those nice-idea memes, basically to "remind yourself of the unexpected compliments you've recieved" as a way of improving your day and/or attitude. A good idea.

Except, of course, that it is predicated on two premises that are not necessarily true:

a) You have received some (or any) compliments, unexpected or not, and
b) You have the kind of brain that remembers such events.

Me? I can't say whether it's a, b, or both - although I suspect it is a combination of both - but I don't have many memories of unexpected compliments, or compliments at all, really. Part of it is almost certainly that I walk around in my own world most of the time, and so probably am not terribly approachable. I do remember the most recent unexpected compliment I received: a traffic-minder at the local transit center, who has apparently seen me many times before, responded to my smile one morning by telling me that he enjoyed seeing me every morning because I had such a forceful stride.

*blink*

Yes, it was a compliment, and I accepted it as such. Does it give me the warm fuzzies to remember this? Ehnh, not so much, really. Yes, it was nice, but...

So yes. Occasionally I get unexpected compliments like "cute shoes!" or "I like that jacket!" like everyone (hopefully) does, but they're rare (or maybe I don't notice). Mostly I don't expect compliments on my personal appearance or choice of apparel; my brain just doesn't run like that. And that's where most unexpected compliments seem to happen, at least to me.

Which is not to say I don't get...well, I wouldn't call them expected, because they aren't and they're rare and precious and wonderful, but I wouldn't call them unexpected either, because I work very hard for them... Let's call them unanticpated but very welcome and not entirely surprising compliments on things like my work. I don't expect to get very many compliments on my work writing, as not too many people stop to leave a comment about "hey, this bit of technical documentation really helped me out!" even when it does do exactly that - but it does happen occasionally, and it never fails to make my day when it happens. I get professional compliments on my work internally on a random basis, which is also extremely happy-making. But I don't count these the same way as "unexpected compliments" - because I've worked too darn hard for me to feel that they're totally out of the blue and/or undeserved, which is I think part of my mental definition of unexpected compliment. The same is true for my artistic endeavors. While I never expect compliments on them, and am highly gratified when someone does say something nice, they don't resonate as "unexpected" in the same way as when someone tells me that those are really nice boots I'm wearing, or that they love to see me because I always have such a happy smile on my face.

So yes, I guess I am conflating "unexpected" with "I did nothing really to deserve this" when it comes to compliments. Interesting.

How do you define "unexpected compliment"? And does reminiscing about them make you feel better?