Should I be relieved or depressed?

[jaunthie]

I was out of town unexpectedly Friday, Saturday, and Sunday morning. Given that I learned about this Thursday, there was no time to tell anyone about my impending not-hereness other than my parents, my hubby fisherbear, and hiker_chick - and the latter only because I needed someone to fill in for me for an appointment time (thank you HC! How was it?).

End result of this unexpected trip on my social scene?

Zip.

Nada.

Zilch.

Not a phone call missed, not an event skipped, not an email sent, not a single sign that anyone in my social circle even noticed I was gone.

Was it because there really wasn't anything going on this weekend? Well, not in my world, but I have heard that there was at least one party this weekend, and of course it was a big-movie-event weekend as well (which naturally enough I also missed; if you've seen PotC: DMC already, don't tell me any details). In previous years, there would at least have been some effort to organize a group to go together to the movie, through email or phone or whatever.

On the one hand, it is always good to know that the world really does keep on turning, and I have no responsibilities so important that they can't be dropped at a moment's notice when the need arises. This is a very useful and reassuring lesson to my Type-A self.

On the other hand, it's a serious gut-check on how important (or not) I really am in my friends' daily lives. Which is to say not important at all. I am not a daily force in anyone's life other than my husband's. And while at least in part this is because of my work schedule, it's also pretty much the way it's always been with my friends. I like to think that I'm a good friend, but I am not usually the talk-to-you-everyday type, unless I happen to actually see you everyday. And I don't see most of my friends every day, or even every week. It's an artifact of my busy life and (I assume) the hectic lives of my friends, but at the same time I can't help but feel a bit taken aback. And also unable to help wondering if it is just me, that my friends find time to talk to each other and get together, but don't bother with me because of course I'm going to be too busy. Or something. (Cue strains of high-school insecurity theme music.)

And on yet another hand, is this yet more confirmation that I'm too busy dealing with the ultimately trivial (work, chores) that I'm missing out on the truly important (friendship, relationships)? Or is that just life in the 21st-century urban jungle?


Given everything else that's going on, I think "depressed" wins.

Comments

[fisherbear.livejournal.com]

Of course, there is one other factor: the relative unreliability of your husband at relaying messages.

For the record, rhubarb bread is apparently tasty stuff.

[monkeybard]

For the record, rhubarb bread is apparently tasty stuff.

Yup. 'Tis indeed. :D

[(Anonymous)]

I think there is also something of a "post July 4 socialization saturation" effect - at least, I know that I was getting a lot of value out of a fairly unstructured weekend (aside from going in to work for a few hours).

Rhubarb bread is very tasty, although I thought the recipe would work slightly better as rhubarb muffins and intend to try that sometime in the near future.

I hate, I hate, I hate LJ authentication these days...

[tangerinpenguin.livejournal.com]

That was me.

[monkeybard]

Rhubarb bread is very tasty, although I thought the recipe would work slightly better as rhubarb muffins and intend to try that sometime in the near future.

You're reading my mind. I'm planning this precise thing and will soon head to the store so that I have eggs and can follow through on the plan. :)

[monkeybard]

For what it's worth I heard nothing of a plan to see PotC: DMC, either--which is fine really because I'd much rather wait for the crowds and hoopla to die down a bit before I go to see it.

And also unable to help wondering if it is just me, that my friends find time to talk to each other and get together, but don't bother with me because of course I'm going to be too busy. Or something. (Cue strains of high-school insecurity theme music.)

Get together? Whazzat? For good or bad, I find it takes An Event to gather more than two friends at the same place at the same time. Of course, I have a backwards view of this problem, seeing as my evenings and Saturdays are busy with, essentially, work. Meanwhile, most people I know are working days, and free in the evenings. ::shrug:: Don't sweat it. You can turn off the music. ;)

Or is that just life in the 21st-century urban jungle?

You know what I'm going to say, don't you? It may be life in the 21-century urban jungle--but only if one allows it to be. It has to be about finding a balance between the ultimately trivial and the truly important that works for you. Each of us makes sacrifices of one kind or another. Maybe this is your cue that you're ready to reassess what you are and aren't willing to sacrifice. You're the only one who can figure that out, as I'm sure you will if you can just slow down long enough to do it.

{{{{{jaunthie}}}}}

Sweetie you ARE A GOOD FRIEND!

[sunkrux.livejournal.com]

You know what I'm going to say, don't you? It may be life in the 21-century urban jungle--but only if one allows it to be. It has to be about finding a balance between the ultimately trivial and the truly important that works for you. Each of us makes sacrifices of one kind or another. Maybe this is your cue that you're ready to reassess what you are and aren't willing to sacrifice. You're the only one who can figure that out, as I'm sure you will if you can just slow down long enough to do it.


MonkeyB speaks truth my friend.


Even though I know you and I don't talk or see each other often enough, I think of you often and sadly, don't make the effort to contact you enough. But, my dear friend, it is a two way street. I realize you are extremely busy with work and I don't always feel like I should bother you just to say hi or see how you're doing. Maybe we can both work on that, huh? Trying to say hi and check on each other more? I'm willing if you are. :D

I just think we all have times in our lives where we get so caught up in our own little worlds that (sadly) we sometimes forget to let our friends know we care and think about them. It doesn't make it right, but there you have it.

So, please know that even if we don't always talk or see each other, I'm ALWAYS there for you (and my other FabFive sisters) and love you dearly.

((((((((((J))))))))

p.s. You are the sweet one you know. weg ;)